Hi Reader 👋, Mark here.

You're receiving keys to empower you to craft world-class stories and presentations because you registered for the December keynote I did for Cornell on "Storytelling for Impact". If you don't want the keys, click here.

When I asked registrants for the keynote to share their biggest communication challenge, one answer came back more than any other, in a dozen different forms:

• "I tend to overshare."
• "Too much detail."
• "Use less words."
• "Learning to be concise while still packing a punch."

If any of those sound familiar, you're in excellent company — and there's a specific reason it happens.

In the Cornell keynote, I talked about the Unsung Hero Trap. It's the tendency to make your story about you — your work, your process, your expertise — rather than about your listener's needs and priorities. To show you this common pitfall, I took you to my kitchen for the "Is the kitchen clean?" example (14:29 of the keynote recording).

Oversharing and the Unsung Hero Trap are the same problem from two different angles.

We often pack too much into a story because we're filtering content through our own perspective — what feels important to us (even if not directly relevant to listeners), what demonstrates our thoroughness, what covers all the bases we might be questioned on.

We're writing for ourselves, and essentially making the audience do the work of finding what's relevant to them.

Here's the reframe: the listener is the hero of your story.

Listeners are interested in your story because they see themselves in it. They relate to your narrative. Your story is so relevant to their interests or experience they visualize its elements in their own minds. They're thinking along with you.

You have their attention because you're talking about them.

When you genuinely internalize that principle, the editing question becomes simple: "Does this serve my listener — or is it serving my need to feel thorough?" Content that serves your listener stays. Content that's there because you're afraid of leaving something out or you want them to know what you had to go through along the way? Cut it.

Then apply your 10% Takeaway test as the final check: Does everything in your story or presentation support the one thing your audience must remember? Anything that fails the 10% Takeaway test doesn't belong.

When I was working in the U.S. House of Representatives, I would sometimes write One-Minute speeches. Any Member of the House could go to the House Chamber in the U.S. Capitol Building and speak on the Floor of the House for up to one minute on any topic. There wasn't time for much context; the clock was strictly enforced. Done right - hyper-focused on a single message - a One-Minute speech could drive a news cycle, crystallize a policy position, or reframe a national debate. But if padded, wandering, unfocused? It disappeared without a trace into the Congressional Record.

A challenge for this week: Take something you've already written and cut 30% of the words using only this filter. See what's left. I'll bet it will be stronger.

Remember: It's not what you know; it's what they need to know.

Coming on Friday: "The Expert's Dilemma" — why expertise makes brevity even harder, and the specific technique for breaking through it.

See you Friday!

Mark

P.S. — What story or presentation are you working on right now? Can I help you sharpen it? I read every response and will send you back a note.